Special edition: Another year around the sun | #41

Appreciation for ageing

When I was nineteen and travelling the world after my semester abroad in France, I quite often got told I was more mature for my age. Prior to turning twenty, I was reunited with my then boyfriend to continue travelling together. I remember that I turned twenty while we were in Kuala Lumpur. He’d asked how I wanted to celebrate it prior and had suggested a nice meal at one of the nicer restaurants. I’d vetoed all his suggestions opting to lie face down on our hotel room bed instead. I loved being told I was mature, and felt like having the number change from nineteen to twenty was significant and that I was ageing beyond repair.

Oh, little did I know!

Despite that number being far bigger than it was when this happened, I am no longer in that frame of mind. I love my life, I love my experiences and I am not triggered by my age. To have the chance for the number of years you live to grow bigger is a blessing in and of itself. In the world we live in, so many people do not get to age.

While youth is glorious, I am starting to appreciate what it means to grow older.

Vanity and self-importance

There was a time when I’d be disappointed at how little birthday wishes there were on my Facebook.

I remember many years ago when I had switched off the auto-reminder that it was my birthday on Facebook just to see how many people remembered. And when the day came, I got less birthday wishes that I’d have gotten with it switched on, I sat there in despair, wondering about my significance. I remember being shocked and even horrified that not more people had wished me on this special day that was to celebrate me.

But I have come to appreciate that good things don’t always come in large quantities, in fact quality beats quantity in this instance.

Living for this moment

Fast forward to today, it was a beautiful day. I woke up feeling rested. I showered, biked to work and invited all my colleagues to have lunch on a picnic rug in the garden of a church across from our office. All ten colleagues who were in the office joined us under the sun on the rug. Conversations were had, some directed at me about what I was doing on my birthday and others about other things like the current Olympics in Paris.

Yesterday, Anita, a really good friend of mine and I had a picnic in a garden. She brought pastries and other goodies and also gave me a card and a gift. And I woke up to just the right amount of What’sApp messages from all the people I wanted to hear from.

Alex had gotten me a lovely spa package of floating, massage and a tea ceremony in Lisbon! He’d wanted to be here in London but after the art making, Burning Nest, Malaysia, personal and work travel as well as starting a new job I just needed a break before we set off to Burning Man so I asked to spend it alone. And he deeply respected what I needed, which made me feel loved and respected.

“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”
― Prentis Hemphill

Irene K

had wished me happy birthday then asked to take me out for dinner or lunch in the next weeks. I’m going for dinner with some close friends, I consider family, tomorrow and on the weekend I am seeing another set of friends.

Celebrating yourself

Birthdays are beautiful - something we should celebrate and share with others, since it signifies the day we were given life, a miracle in and of itself. Each year, it further signifies how blessed we are to live. A thing we shouldn’t ever take for granted, but one I take for granted all the time.

So even though I am not doing a big celebration this year, I am bringing my brother and I out for a fancy omakase tonight.

And I am giving myself plenty of space to rest so I can enjoy Burning Man when it comes around in a few weeks.

Love and light to all,

Caryn