Today begins my ten days of sitting in silence | #3
The 10-day vipassana I’ll be embarking on and my spiritual journey
Hi friends,
This comes a week early as I am off on a 10-day Vipassana (silent retreat) starting today. I woke up feeling a bit scared like I’m about to be out of my comfort zone and equally somewhat excited for it.
Last week, I spent two days furthering my bodywork training with a focus on the face. Amongst other things, I learnt a Traditional Chinese Medicine technique called Gua Sha. It involves gently scraping the skin to increase circulation. It was so powerful AND relaxing.
Here are some pics of me in action:
This week I wanted to share a bit about my spiritual practice and the Vipassana.
I grew up in a Christian home with a lot of moral values instilled in me. I actually spent seven years going to bible study every Monday evening. While the importance of spirituality and existential musing stayed with me, I ventured away from religion towards focusing on my wellbeing through understand the mind and body connection.
In 2018, I spent six months training as a yoga teacher. Towards the end of my training, I had a meditation practice of thirty minutes a day. The yoga teacher training opened doors to other explorations. I also got into cold water swimming; did a year-long training on nonviolent communication; did an intro to counselling course and trained as a coach. This all took place alongside furthering my self-awareness with psychotherapy. It was all part of a yearning to know more about human existence and this has been an ongoing spiritual journey.
Nowadays, my practice involves journalling and meditating with my sangha — Wake Up London. My painting and bodywork practice also quite regularly induces meditative and flow states.
I had first heard of Vipassana back in 2018 and was taken aback by the schedule:
I signed up for it anyway and got off the waitlist. I didn’t do it in the end and I’m thankful for that because it has become clear that I was not ready back then. I did a three day silent retreat instead and that served as a good taster.
Honouring what the body tells us is important, I wasn’t ready four years ago but I know I am ready now. Today I am taking a train up to Suffolk on the east coast of the United Kingdom for my first Vipassana. It will total 100 hours of mediation in 10 days!
If you know me well, you’d know that my spiritual practice is core to who I am. I believe in and practise the notion of emptiness and non-duality. Meditation is a great way of being present and being present allows us to see that everything is ever-changing and we have no control of anything.
To me, meditation is more than just a quiet seated practice. One could pretty much meditate in any and all aspect of life, whether that is working on a computer, walking, washing dishes, painting, driving a car and so on.
Meditation is a constant practice of gaining insight and a never-ending work-in-progress. I believe that silence is a powerful way of getting closer and closer to the insight we all inherently have in ourselves. Having sat through many silent meditations, engaging in therapy, journaling and being in conscious communities, I am excited to delve deeper into my own awareness. I believe that the 10 days of silence is like a rite of passage, a way to deepen my ability to live with even more aliveness and presence.
In the lead up to today, I asked for advice from fellow twitter friends about their Vipassana experiences and got loads of replies:
Without expecting anything nor seeking anything specific, I am going into this feeling wide open, deeply curious and inviting anything that wants to arise, arise.
I will try my best to articulate the experience when I am back. I imagine it will be more powerful than I can imagine and potentially more painful in ways I cannot yet imagine.
See you on the other side of these ten days without words, technology or distraction.
In mild trepidation and wide-eyed anticipation,
Caryn