How I met my mothers | #36

And the rest of my London family

I have been writing a lot about relentlessly pursuing your people and living the life you want to live. It felt natural that this week’s newsletter (which is yet again, late by a day) should cover who these wonderful people I have been relentlessly pursuing are.

Mother 1:

I live with my younger brother and his girlfriend (who is like a sister to me). Despite them being six years younger than me, I sometimes feel like the child in the trio. Being around them have been really healing for me and connective. We have similar humour, we are really silly, and the house is always filled with joy, exploration, and great cooking!

Mother 2:

Sylva and Tesh are like my parents, despite being pretty much the same age as me. We met on the train in the summer of 2022 on the way to a meditation retreat as part of the Plum Village tradition. (Plum Village is a monastery based in France founded by Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. They have an in-person meditation group for young people in the heart of London called Wake Up London that my friends Vedantha and Sonia brought me to. After the retreat, we exchanged numbers and started going to raves and festivals together. Syl and Tesh have felt like family pretty much from the start. They’ve been a deep inspiration for my inner work journey, and a home base when I have felt ungrounded. They’ve cooked for me, brought me to banya (Russian sauna) and introduced me to wonderful medicine musicians like Ajeet.

Mother 3:

Bridget and Matt are a beautiful Aussie couple I met in the sauna, we hit it off right from the start. And they have too felt like parents, enveloping me in unconditional love the moment I met them. They’ve met my parents, eaten food my parents cooked, we’ve danced and cried in close proximity to each other at ecstatic dance and shared many sauna experiences including the latest voice sauna!

Now I am going to share with you how I relentlessly pursued the others into my life and to be a part of my community:

Anita:

I fangirled her the moment I came across her Twitter profile. We had a lot of similar followers and friends from the ‘tpot aka this part of twitter’ community. I loved how curious and down to earth she sounded, talking about the vegetables she used to cook a broth and the inner work she was doing. Unashamed of my own agenda at play, I convinced Foster to gift her a writing cohort scholarship at the beginning of 2023 and she joined us in Mexico for our writing retreat. She also briefly worked at Foster. But the coolest thing is that she is about an 18 min bike ride from mine so we have had many park walks and visits to her place ending up in breakfast for me (yay). We are really good friends now, and not only text regularly but make intentions for calls or walks together.

Irene:

It seems only natural that Irene and I, both artists, met at a summer art school back in 2022! We spent a week together, in which one of the first things she said to me was ‘I recognise you from Twitter’. That was the beginning of our beautiful friendship because how could we not when we were both in tpot Twitter and into art AND women of colour living in London? We’ve gone from art studio to art studio together and art galleries to exhibitions together. She is a reliable rock I know I can always hold onto, a friend who will always be there whatever the tide of life is and someone who gets me deeply. When Irene says she will be there, she will be there. Including the time she got locked in the bathroom at my friend’s for almost half an hour (the key was old and the lock didn’t budge, got her out with pliers) having come over an hour from South West London to North East London to help me paint my Burning Nest art. I will never forget!

Vedantha and Sonia:

V and I met at part-time law school in 2017, where we clicked from the get-go. Sonia then came into his life (now fiancée!) and lucky me, mine too! They are such great friends, fellow hippies and people I love deeply like family. I will never forget the time they threw a party and somehow I was the last person left so they invited me to stay over. Giving me Sonia’s pj’s and taking me to brunch at a lovely place called Cafe Van Gogh the next morning. I was sad to leave them after brunch having been parented and loved so well.

Steph:

Steph found me because we were misfits at business school. Actually more interested in humanities, discussing Asian women traumas and other fun things but somehow ended up at business school, likely to do with Asian women traumas. This friendship exemplifies the importance of distance. Steph was working at a company close to where I lived for a while so we’d grab lunch somewhat regularly but once she left that regularity had cemented our friendship and so we’d see each other at her place, galleries and more recently because I’ve been busy via phone. I deeply value her for many reasons, one of which is the things she’s taught me on loving another and doing life with a partner. (Ran out of time to find pics of Steph and I)

Jonny and Kit:

These boys rock. I only met them at the end of last year at a sauna party but I’ve been so lucky to see them twice a week most weeks since then. Regulars at the sauna, it feels like we’ve been friends for so much longer because of the cadence and consistency of our friendship. It was the talk of AG1, Zoe and other biohacking things that brought us together, and the sweat life that will keep keeping us bonded. I am bullish about this friendship and excited to see it continue to flourish in beautiful ways.

signing off as heading to my first burn. It’s the UK regional one called Burning Nest where I’m bringing my first multimedia multi-part art installation!!! You’ll see pics and hear more about it soon.

Caryn