Apparently I am a burner now | #24

Stumbling upon a really exciting and value-aligned community in the heart of bustling London

With a bright purple wig on my head, LED wings attached like a cape via a collar around my neck, blue love-heart sunglasses over my eyes, UV tribal markings painted on my face, dark fuschia colouring my lips, butterfly-like psychedelic patterned blue dress over my body and Dr Martens protecting my feet, I was ready for the night ahead. This was my first Burning Man event and it was not in Nevada. 

Chancing upon London’s Burning Man Yearly Rave

A chance encounter with two people at an energy healing workshop brought ‘London Decompression (Decom)’  into my life. A yearly affair in London’s grey November, Decom is one of the longest running official Burning Man regional events. Not only is it a seven pm to five am rave, the culture is that all ravers actively volunteer to build the site as early as six am and to strike it down from five am the next day! 

Everyone buys a ticket so there is no distinction between ‘crew or staff’ and festival goers. Ticket-holders are even encouraged to apply to share art and run workshops. As an artist and a writer, I applied to both. I’d been developing a series of oil paintings depicting women’s backs prior to finding out that this year’s Decom was themed ‘Feral Resurrection’.

I applied to share my art as an experience that invited viewers to reflect without self-judgement on the baggage we carry and the masks we wear. I wanted people to have a space to pause and remind ourselves about who we are and why we are here. For the workshop, I applied to facilitate writing as a way to reflect on ourselves. It took place halfway through the rave for those who wanted to take a break. 

Trepidation in the lead up

A big party is always exciting but I had some trepidation. I prefer not to stay up late. Aware of my mood fluctuations, consistent sleep is something I have come to value. On any night, I can sense my anxiety heightening as the clock ticks past eleven pm and I am still not in bed. Having my art up meant I had to be there until the end as Burner principles meant it was my responsibility to take it down at the end of the night. Or more accurately, at the beginning of the next day.

I worried that I’d be tired, or even bored or perhaps run out of things to do or interesting people to chat with and I’d just be sitting around hating every minute of waiting until five am came around. My reality was so far from any of those fears I had. Time flowed seamlessly and the night had many chapters of adventures. Five am came sooner and faster than I wanted, I could easily have stayed for another five hours! 

Chapter Zero: Making props and meeting new friends prior to the rave 

In one of the emails leading up to the event, it was revealed that there were makeries we could and were encouraged to take part in. This was to make decorations for the night and anyone could volunteer. Synchronously I had been deepening my own artistic practice across the year, with painting and drawing taking up most days of my week! Attending multiple festivals this year and through my discussions with artist friends and mentors, it had also become more apparent that I wanted to develop my art practice towards building bigger installations and festival art. 

Two weeks before Decom, I made it to my first makery where I got to paint gas masks in fluorescent pink, yellow and blue while making new friends. I met Vinnie, who’d accidentally gone to Burning Man years ago without knowing much about it but had come back into the community and identified as a burner. I also met a half-Malaysian woman, Siobhan, who’d been very involved in Burning Man, having lived in the west coast of the US and even spent a month volunteering to help build an art piece. These interactions showed me the art of the possible as a new burner. I could get as deeply involved as I’d like to in all the ways I wanted to. One of the ten principles of Burning Man was radical self-expression after all! 

I helped make a horse-head with Vinnie and another person, Cal, who shared that being a burner in the UK had changed their life for the better. They told me about their participation in the UK week-long burn called Burning Nest. Cal started a camp called FUKC (free use kitchen camp). As we have to be radically self-reliant, everyone had to bring their own food to the festival and he provided cooking equipment for those who might not have their own. 

At the second makery session, we were armed with hot glue guns and asked to glue bits of electronic parts to long ratchet straps used to tie down items to the back of a truck for transport. I also decorated a mannequin with computer parts, making breast covers out of lan cables and a hula skirt out of wires. This time I met a few friends who’d come together to run a small burn-type festival in the UK and a guy called Valerio who was also into writing like me. 

Each makery was an exciting and calming way to spend time while meeting nice and interesting like-minded people. I left each makery filled with wholesome warmth of true and deep connection. And I was excited that I’d eventually get to party with them! 

Chapter One: Sharing my art and building the party

As my art was accepted for display at the event, I went early to put it up. Excited and nervous, I stuck over twenty of my paintings on the wall in a three part exhibition.

Once my art was up, there was still time to help out so I went into the main room and started to help. I strung LED lights around the mannequins, including the one I built, and helped put up more props. Then I went up to the bathrooms and along with others, got dressed for the actual party. 

Half-way into the festival, around midnight, I was meandering and walked past my paintings. It blew my mind and floored me to see that the interaction I invited people to have with the art and questions worked. The stickies were absolutely filled with answers -- silly ones but also real and vulnerable ones. A guy called Joe even gave me his number and asked me for a massage. I’d written that I’d trained as a massage therapist in my artist bio.

The first section was a series of diverse portraits representing all of us at Decom. That section asked ‘Who are you?’ and ‘Why are you here?’.

The second part was the main bit of the exhibition, it was a series of eight women’s back paintings and this one asked ‘What scars or baggage or pain does your back carry for you?’

The final section was a series of three faceless bodies and asked ‘What if you took off the mask?’ 

My tender, tender heart erupted with joy. All the writings and engagement and connection this invited me to have with strangers and burners was so beautiful. At the end of the festival, I carefully took down the paper with stickies so I could keep them. 

Chapter Two: Accidentally being the makeup gurl

Siobhan from the makery had told me about Costume Camp, a place where you could borrow things to wear and makeup to use. This camp lived Burning Man principles in that we could borrow whatever we wanted, it just had to be back with them by the end of the night. There was no security system like a deposit or taking ID or phone numbers. It was entirely by trust. I decided to use some of the UV neon paint at their makeup table and by the time I was done, a few people had lined up waiting for me, thinking I could do theirs. Amusedly, I availed myself to help Paris who was dressed like an English guard, a lady who wanted dog whiskers drawn on for her performance as a dog, and then Rich and Charlie who asked for their faces to be painted with lines and shapes. 

It was only last year that I was afraid to do my own tribal UV face paint because I thought I’d mess it up. I remember asking my friend’s girlfriend for help at a party in Williamsburg, New York. It was wild to think that a year later people would line up for me to do theirs. I took a deep breath and mustered the self-belief and confidence in me and started working UV paints onto the faces of others. Each of them left happy and thankful. Phew. 

Later Rich and I became co-conspirators for more art at future burns. We are currently messaging about what we might collaborate on making together for next year’s UK burn! Charlie turned out to be a DJ who also plays violin in an orchestra. I felt so in community with these wonderful and multifaceted people. 

Chapter Three: Time to Enjoy and Dance

I was finally ready to party right when I ran into my friends. Apart from the Cat, who I came with, everyone was dressed so different that I didn’t even recognise them. With multiple themed dance floors we all got to bop to different vibes and music.

At some point in this chapter, I ran into Vinnie and Siobhan and Karl and Paul which felt so wonderful. It was extra meaningful to see all the people I met making props getting to enjoy the event we co-created together. Vinnie introduced me to his group of friends and we all ended up in a dance cage watching a pair perform aerial in a hoop, it was fantastic! 

Chapter Four: Experimenting with embodied consent

My phone had stopped working and I didn’t have the time on me so I didn’t know what time it was but after asking someone, I couldn’t believe it was near midnight. I felt like I’d just started the night and we were already halfway through! It also felt like synchronicity that as  I was meandering back to look for my friends, it brought me to the camp where two of my friends were running a workshop on consent.

It was fun learning to say our ‘yes’ and ‘no’s and feeling whether our body really meant the ‘yes’ and ‘no’ that we verbalised. We got to partner with different people and try things out like asking if we could touch someone's hair or stroke their skin or squeeze their shoulders or kiss their hand. I partnered up with different people of all ages and sometimes we were even in groups of four. 

One of the activities was for each of us to share what we were excited by and what we were anxious about during the night. It was a lovely bonding activity where even the most bold looking person was made human through what they shared. The time kept rolling and the next thing I knew, I was running to another tent to host my writing workshop 

Chapter Five: My writing workshop

This workshop was about inviting participants to have a safe space to reflect on themselves, and their relationship to the theme of ‘Feral Resurrection’. I gave them space to meet each other and then drop into journaling. I brought my singing bowl with me so we opened the workshop with a bell and three breaths and closed the workshop with the same. 

I ran the workshop for 30 minutes and invited participants to reflect on their inhibitions and their lives. And then as quickly as it started it was done and I was back into party mode. 

Chapter Six: The End

The night had so many adventures between the DJ sets on the dance floor and quiet moments in one-to-one conversations. It was filled with so much humanity and love and joy and yet there was still the rave culture and craziness. It warmed my heart to be part of something so big yet so human and the best thing was that when the festival ended at 5 am, so many people stayed back to continue striking (aka packing) it down. I left with my heart filled with love, connection and hope. And with an excitement for the next burn.